Let Go Let God!

Here I am in month 10 of the race and God has been in a transforming mood. It is needless to say that we are ready to come home. But we are learning to balance in preparing to go home and being present in what the Lord is doing here on the field.

One of the biggest topics amongst my squad has been….marriage!

I don’t know what it is about the race, but it gets people talking about the big “M” word. When would we like to get married, who are we going to marry, how big our weddings are going to be etc….

 I feel like we have talked more about marriage and finding/ being with the right person more than we have talked about the goodness, kindness, and sovereignty of God. 

But today! I have come to the conclusion that my mind will not be on the right one, but on the HOLY ONE! I desire to walk in obedience and availability to the one who holds my heart in His hand right now! 

I am reminded of the story of Abraham and Isaac. In Genesis 22? Abraham is going to sacrifice Isaac because the Lord asks him to. But when Abraham and Isaac are on their way to prepare the altar, Abraham tells his helper to hold the donkey until WE return. That “we” meant him and Isaac. 

Abraham knew God and he trusted God to keep all of His promises. So when Abraham went to sacrifice his son, he did it, with no questions asked. He knew that the Lord would cover him. 

I desire to have faith like Abraham. My desires and wants, God has given them to me and He will never fail me. He will protect me and cover me. Furthermore, He will guide me in the way that I should go. 

Marriage and relationships have been racking my brain for the past month and a half. I have been wondering whether to get involved in a relationship at home and I have also been dealing with a broken heart on the field. But as I sat looking out into the valley today, I realized that these things are coming from a place of loneliness and bitterness.

One thing that I learned long ago, is that marriage is not just some rites of passage nor is it the ultimate goal in this life. Marriage is a call from the Lord. A call where two people come together and make a covenant before God and loved ones. A call to glorify God more together than individually. It’s a call, and it is dangerous to call ourselves to it rather than letting the Lord lead us to it. 

My vow and my loyalty is to Christ first. My heart is in the Lord’s hands and that is where it will be until He calls my heart to another. 

Until then, I will let go of my desires that are based out of loneliness and settle into solitude and peace, expecting that God will keep His promises. 

I let go and I let God!